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(478): So i wrote ‘don’t sex me’ on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking

(404): how did that work out?

(478): Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn’t have my reminder…


(239): Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn’t a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.

(801): Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.

Submission by missloki

*squee* My submission got posted =^.^= <3

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