(916): Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Tracks
(443): I forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober.
(910): It’s amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage…. Politics suck and I swallowed!
In reaction to the passing of Amendment 1 in North Carolina.
(805): You have to be careful with those kinds of gals
(209): Being careful’s for bitches.
Submission by ask-sonapony
Love that bottom photo <3
(215): For those about to rock, I salute you. Future freaks.
Submission by anonymous
(951): Why, what do you know? I’m already drinking! :D
(909): Do we ever stop!?!?!?
(951): Um, yeah. Blackouts. Duh.
Submission by anonymous (via email)
Now that my brother’s told me most of the 909 and 951 texts from ponyville were submitted by him, it’s given me an interesting window into his life…
(239): Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn’t a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
(801): Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Submission by missloki
*squee* My submission got posted =^.^= <3
(541):
So, when she came she screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of her lungs
and all of her roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!
…..yeah kinda akward
(Source: tsundere-images)
BWAHAHA! Why have I never done this?
(215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Submission by hashavechicken
(609): wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
(941): it was a krispy kreme
Texts from Last Night. Made better with Ponies.
